Project: Hot Mom

Yesterday started day 1 of my new program, which includes eating right and a killer kickboxing/strength routine 6 days a week. I can honestly say I've never been so excited about a fitness routine and am already addicted. I think it taps into my desire to take control of this aspect of my life. 

I pride myself in the fact that I've never been a yo-yo dieter. Actually the only diet I ever recall being on was the no bread, no beer, no pasta routine about a month before my first wedding. 

It's sad I can't really display these pictures anywhere- I love this shot of me, my mom and Aunt Lila. It was literally 100 degrees outside and I was trying to air things out a bit ;)

Now that I say that I remember my journey with food and it all went downhill about that time. Before that I didn't put much thought into what I ate. My roommate at the time- Rachel- was a health NUT, so I did pick up some of her tips in terms of working out, but I just didn't care about nutrition. I had just broken up with my college sweetheart, so naturally lost 10 lbs and people were telling me NOT to lose any more weight. Imagine that!

Thanksgiving 2003

Then I met my first husband, who was also a work out nut. I remember coming home from the bars one night- hungry- and making fried egg sandwiches with real butter. He said "I cannot believe you eat that shit!" I took that as a challenge and began an awful cycle of working out too much and not eating enough, hoping to hear from him that I needed to eat more. You can roll your eyes; it's even humiliating to type that.

I began travel nursing, and moved out to Delaware, living alone and working out twice a day- running in the morning than a full workout after work. I would eat lettuce with tuna for lunch and peanut butter for dinner. 

Then my Grandma Shaffer died. That sent me into a downward spiral... I remember leaving the gym early the day I got the news and going to the mall, wandering around aimlessly feeling so sad and lonely. By the time the mall closed I was so hungry I ordered a big plate of fried rice from Panda Express and ate the. whole. thing. To make matters worse I bummed a cigarette off of a perfect stranger on my way out...! By the time I got back to my apartment the guilt had taken over, and for the very first time I made myself throw up everything I had just eaten. Instead of feeling ashamed or embarrassed I felt... liberated...?! I could eat absolutely anything I wanted and just get rid of it... genius!

I won't bore you with all the details, but I will tell you that went on for about 5 years, after I had been married and divorced and got into a relationship with someone who truly cared for my well being- my husband Dustin :)

He wasn't harsh or judgmental, he just did not want me to do that to myself, and asked me to stop. And I did.

Although I haven't done "that" since before we married over 5 years ago, I haven't really had a healthy relationship with food either. The good news is that I haven't been obsessed over everything I put into my body, but the bad news is I haven't been obsessed over everything I put into my body ;) 

SO after putting on 10 extra lbs during my pregnancy and feeling icky in my own skin- not to mention the entire wardrobe in a size smaller that I can't fit into at the moment- I'm ready to obsess in the healthiest way possible.

Paleo is a great concept, but as my sister in law the nutritionist said "it's just not sustainable". The last thing I want to do is start something that isn't reasonable to continue forever. I don't enjoy cooking as-is; if I'm going to cook it better be something everyone can eat. I need a "real food" diet.

The nutrition portion of the Ferrell's program is so simple: eat 6 small meals a day which include a protein and a carb, lots of water, and unlimited veggies. I've got a log book to write down my meals, and I have a coach who helps to keep me accountable. Apparently it takes longer for women's metabolism to kick start (go figure) so it's a bit of a stretch but my 5 week goal is to lose 2% body fat. I started the diet yesterday, and can say I didn't feel hungry at ALL all day. My challenge is going to be staying away from caffeine (you're not supposed to have ANY!) and drinking enough water (80 oz/day). 

The kickboxing starts tonight. Here goes everything I've got! xx