Hands down

Oysters have become my birthday tradition :) YUMMMM

Don't worry I'm way over my little fit from last weekend. I had a great time on my birthday and ended up waking to (bottle) feed Jonah all night anyway just to spend time with him. I then spent the entire next day feeling sad and guilty for spending the evening without my two favorite boys ;) Yup, I'm officially a mom!  After this birthday I'm officially advanced maternal age too... ug.  I could not imagine the breast feeding/pumping routine with a toddler running around and I wonder how quickly our #2 will join us.  Yes, I'm 11 weeks post partum and already thinking about another baby!!! Bring it.

Jonah continues to be more and more interactive and alert. Lately I've been uber-obsessed with his little hands. Tuesday morning when I was sad and a wee bit hungover he was sleeping so soundly in his swing with his little hands resting on his knees... I so did not want to leave him.  I posted another video to YouTube of the way he moves them around when he's eating.  He's figuring out that he makes them move and when his two hands find each other I think it's just so cute!

He still giggles too. Dang I wish I could get that on tape. One day this week I took him into our bed so I could rest during that last feeding before starting my day. I laid him on my chest afterwards and he was giggling in his sleep like crazy; Dustin and I were laughing so hard. Jonah's so good for our souls.

Today we're headed to NW Iowa to meet our new little nephew Gage. He and Jonah have some pretty cute matching outfits to sport this winter already thanks to yours truly! My mom and grandma will be in town and my aunt is hosting a baby shower for us on Sunday.  My dad will also get to meet Jonah for the very first time :)

this photo was taken at the class we took to prepare for his
baptism... this is how he looked when we walked in-- he is
definitely taking his baptism seriously :D

Next weekend is Jonah's baptism!  We're so honored that both of his God parents are making great efforts to be here... my brother and his family are driving up, and Dustin's sister flying in. We're so fortunate to each have a sibling that fit the role so perfectly.  Jonah's GGma Shipman is flying in from Springfield and his Grandma Leslee from Maryland as well.


Work has gone exceptionally well in the few weeks that I've been back. In my business it's all about selling new products, and I've made great strides in a short period of time which lets my boss know I'm out there doing what I'm supposed to do.  I've been chosen to represent my region at the American College of Surgeons annual meeting in October.  This would require three nights away from home. Here enters my first mommy/career woman dilemma.  I don't even know what it would be like to be without my baby for three whole nights... much less how Dustin would handle me being away.  Thankfully I've been given the choice to accept or decline, but it's one of those things you're so honored to be chosen you hate to decline. I guess we'll have plenty of time to discuss this on the road this weekend.  Stay tuned.

Calgon take me away...!

Disclosure: this is not a happy post.  The first 9 weeks seemed like a complete walk in the park compared to the cumulative lack of sleep from this past week.  I dealt with it phenomenally... up until 3 am last night.  Then I had a meltdown. Literally.  Sitting in the rocking chair sobbing.

Jonah was doing so great with the eating/sleeping thing- back when I had no reason to get up and be productive during the day.  Now that I'm back to work he's eating at midnight and then every 2 hours after that. He'll only eat on one side and be so tired he'll go back to sleep... only to wake up for another snack about the time I fall into a nice comfortable sleep.  Since feeding takes about 30 minutes, I'm sleeping in 1.5 hour intervals.  Not sustainable. Last night I thought I would throw out all the rules about the middle of the night... I turned on the light, I changed him after he ate on the first side rather than before, I talked to him. Despite all my efforts he would not. wake. up.  Diesel hasn't been feeling great the past few days so he was up puking in the dining room, Chopper has allergies (or so says the vet... we need to get a second opinion) so he OBSESSIVELY licks his paws.  Which is super annoying to listen to especially in the middle of the night.  I just couldn't handle it and sat in the rocker with my sleepy baby and cried.  Hard.  Dustin woke up and tried to help.  He put Jonah to bed and cleaned up the puke.  I cried myself to sleep... until 5 am when Jonah woke up for another nibble.

I'll get it figured out.  No one said it was going to be easy.  It's not really that bad it just all came out at this moment in time. And now I'm going to b*tch about my husband.  Which I don't normally do or condone.

You see tomorrow is my birthday, and my girlfriends are taking me out. The kind of out that requires me to thaw out some of that breast milk I've been so diligently pumping and saving, and dump out the milk I produce while we're at said outing. They're picking me up, and Dustin is coming to get me.  We were discussing this plan and the conversation went something like this:

Dustin: "So are you still going to be able to get up with him and feed him after you get home?"

Me: "Well, it is my birthday... maybe we can split the night or something?  Like you get up until 3 am and I do the early morning shift?"

Dustin:  "I'm not sure how that's going to work... I mean, I have to work the next day.  I'll talk to my boss... maybe I can just take half a day or something on Tuesday..."

TAKE HALF A DAY??!  You have to WORK...?!?!  Well guess what, so do I! And I have been!  And I've been getting up!!! Every two hours!!!  You get to sleep and occasionally get out of bed if/when you feel it's necessary.  You are getting sleep and going to the gym just like you did before and I can barely eat healthy due to being so sleepy much less find the time and/or energy to work OUT.  AND it was MY BODY that went through great lengths to have our baby and really needs a good diet and gym time!!!  AND SLEEP!!!!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED SLEEP.

OK.  That's all I got.  It's not worth fighting over, especially when I'm in this tired, fragile state.  He's being very sweet-- he just doesn't get it.  I tried once to argue my point and he thought since he sits at a desk all day and I get to be "out and about and at least walk around" that made it different. Whatever.  I can handle it.

Sorry it's a ranting, emotion filled post... but it's reality, and it's my life right now.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....

...it's back to work I go.  I'm happy to say I made it through my first day without completely washing away my eyeliner.  Jonah and I had an amazing last day together getting ready for Dustin's birthday.  We went shopping for his present, got balloons and baked cupcakes and made it look like we'd been eating bon bons all day by the time Dustin got home. Jonah was full of smiles; I swear he knew I needed them to keep my spirits high.

This was taken after his 2 month shots... he weighs
11 lbs 13 ounces already and is over 23 inches tall :)

Dropping him off Wednesday morning was the strangest feeling. I've never been good at goodbyes but my heart has never wrenched quite like it did that day. I was actually thankful my first day was a work meeting with my peers rather than with customers, and my boss (single male with no children) couldn't have been any more considerate. It was nice to be surrounded by friendly faces. The whole pumping deal went without a hitch and I came out ahead by 4 whole ounces! I came home feeling much more balanced and whole, and missing my baby so much I nearly ate him. I feel completely energized at work-- my career has taken on a whole new meaning.

After working Wednesday and Thursday Jonah and I took Friday off to
enjoy the great weather.  I love a 3 day weekend with my boys!

"tummy time for all 3" while I was working :)

Not that it's been easy-- I've been back a week now and it still feels like a limb is missing as I begin my days without him.  Felicia has been awesome though, sending me lots of photos and text messages throughout the day.  I'm also so thankful for the flexibility my job provides-- last night Jonah was especially hungry, so after feeding him at 12, 2, 4, and 6 a.m. I rearranged my schedule and spent the morning snuggling with my baby :) There truly is no better feeling.