#countingsheep

Man am I wide awake. It's 1:13am and I'm already sick of all the other websites I frequent... Shutterfly, Facebook, Pinterest... 

Without going into great detail the company I work for is going through some major changes. Myself and my co-workers will find out Thursday if we have a "seat on the bus" or not with the whole reorganization that's been slowly and painfully unfolding over the past 12 months. In the 19 years I've been working I haven't ever had to worry about losing my job (gulp. That makes me sound old!) I don't think I'm at a huge risk for losing it, but if I've learned anything it's that nothing in life is a guarantee.  So everything feels has like it's in a bit of a standstill at the moment. 

A job in Iowa has come and gone and is possibly coming again, but this time it may not in the area we want... and I thought I liked roller coaster rides! When I initially took the job here I sold the idea to Dustin by saying "We can create our own little life!" Which we have. We're very comfortable in our home and with each other. But there's something missing. I've met some great girls, but they're scattered all over the city, all at different points in their lives. We've even met a few "couple friends", but still we're only interacting with others about once every 4-6 weeks. That's not enough for me. My sweet cousin the photographer did live here with her hubs (who Dustin loves) for a little over a year and just moved away this July; I'm really feeling the void she left behind. I would say my closest friends are my co-workers, but sometimes that can be tricky too. 

People seem to hold you at an arms length in Minnesota- like they don't want to "let you in". Part of the issue has to do with my husband being an introvert in stark contrast to my extrovertedness. He's happy to go to work and come home to Jonah and I. The gym is his extracurricular activity. Our outings together either involve shopping or going to the movies (pre-baby), which is all fine and dandy but I. want. people. I miss tailgating and family gatherings for birthdays. I want people to invite us to their house, meet us at the movies and celebrate the small victories in life with us. I just don't have a sense of community here and I'm not sure quite how to get it. Should it be so hard? Am I the one being difficult or resistant?

Time will tell and I know that everything will work out for the best, but right now I'm weighing all the options. In my head. When I should be sleeping.

I'm also thinking about (and sometimes pinning) that dream house in Iowa, where there's enough room for ALL of our shoes on the shelves in the closets and Jonah grows up knowing his cousins. <3

Up North

I love traveling. Even just a quick weekend trip to Iowa to visit family is something I look forward to. Dustin and I were on our way "up north" this weekend talking about how we love taking Jonah with us wherever we go. (It took us about 6 months to figure out where this up north was that everyone from Minneapolis goes to on the weekends... it's really just anywhere in northern MN in case you were wondering the same.) I like being the family that travels together and love that having a baby hasn't really slowed us down. Well besides me selling my motorcycle and all ;) We figured out in Jonah's 4.5 months on this earth he's been on FIVE little getaways! Three times to Iowa, once to Chicago and now the trip Up North.

A co-worker of mine had invited our little family to join his family in the fabulous VRBO home they had rented right on the North Shore of Lake Superior. We did a lot of hiking during the day at a few of the state parks nearby, and also enjoyed a camp fire under the brightest display of stars I've seen in a very long time.

can you see what's on my left ring finger....?
 MY WEDDING RINGS! They fit again!! :)

Thanks to one of my "pregnancy friends" as I call them... some very inspiring girls from an online post-partum group... I discovered the Ergo carrier. One thing Dustin and I learned in a very short time was the Baby Bjorn is only cool in "The Hangover" movie. In real life it puts all the baby's weight on your upper back and causes a great deal of discomfort and a few trips to the chiropractor. With Jonah in my Ergo I was able to hike for hours without anything more than an increased heart-rate. Jonah was such a trooper, sleeping most of the time we hiked. During one hike a bridge wasn't where it was supposed to be according to the map, so we ended up hiking twice as long as anticipated, and baby boy woke up hungry. He was rooting and happened to be at the right level, and since I dressed appropriately (a tank top under my shirt to allow for peek-a-boo free feeding sessions) I popped a boob into his mouth and low and behold we were hiking AND feeding at the same time! Damn I am one talented individual. My mom later said when I told her: "what a good mommy for bringing nutritious snacks" :D HA!

Jonah continues to make leaps and bounds in his development. He not only giggles but laughs-- really hard sometimes. It's absolutely the best sound in the world. He can also arch his back and lift up his little butt-- that comes in handy during diaper changes. Just this morning Dustin saw him roll over from his back to his stomach while trying to get comfortable in his crib! His first feeding moved to about 3am, which means more uninterrupted sleep for me...YIPPIE! He's typically up for the day around 5:30-6. I like my new smiley alarm clock ;) 

What I find so interesting is Jonah's fascination with technology... already! If he's fussy in the car, we just play "Despicable Me" on the iPad and he's mesmerized. We're planning to get a childproofing case soon so we can download all sorts of apps to keep him busy learning while protecting the device from baby bumps and drools. I'm excited for all the silly cartoons and movies we'll get to watch with him.

I've advertised my blog a bit more lately which has produced a few more followers. Curious as to what they might read, I went back in time re-reading several of my posts, both from this blog and the original. It reminded me of our struggles to get pregnant and just how emotionally exhausting that time was. A woman close to me is going through infertility treatments right now, and I really feel as if my experience has helped her feel hopeful about hers. She's one of the most beautiful women I know, she totally needs to reproduce... fill this world with good people!! One more week and we'll know if IUI #2 worked or not... please pray for her. It also reminded me just how blessed we are to have Jonah, to be able to breastfeed him (something that is really a struggle for many other moms), and to not have to worry about all those things that were a concern during our 20 week ultrasound. God is good.

Happy Halloween :)

Boo Monsters Halloween Card

Get custom Halloween invitations at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

Fall-ish

As I sit down to write this (very early on a Saturday morning) Jonah is squealing and bouncing in his jumperoo. That has been the best investment! At just a few weeks old Jonah LOVED to stand, so this allows him to stand all he wants, and I can get things done around the house without fear of a dog stepping on him or him falling out. Dustin got a great video of him in action. You just can't help but laugh while watching it.

It's definitely fall outside. I now have to bundle up the little guy to walk the dogs everyday, wondering what we'll do when it's well below freezing :-/ I love having my house all decorated with pumpkins and leaves. Note I did not say I enjoy the act of actually decorating it. I think I mostly like it because they match the color scheme of our living space... this is not the case when Christmas rolls around, but this year I'm really going to push past that. We haven't been home for Christmas since we moved to Minneapolis in 2009, so every year I typically just throw up a tree and a few lights and call it good- no sense decorating for no one to see. This year, however, we've decided to stay home for Christmas so we don't have to chose which parent to visit. With our moms in Maryland and Arizona and our dads on either side of Iowa it makes holiday travel a little tricky/impossible. Now whoever wants to spend the holiday with us is welcome to come to our home! Genius!

I (barely) survived my work trip to Chicago. I did have a great time mingling with the who's who of my company and enjoyed some alone time shopping and SLEEPING. I cried every time we FaceTimed and whenever I went to the bathroom to pump though. Thankfully I won't have to do that again for a few months.

The most depressing part of that trip was that I had to buy dress pants TWO sizes bigger :( I'm so ready to be back to my normal self. The more I read from other moms if you're not one of the lucky ones who loses the weight right away the time period of 3-6 months is something to look forward to. Supposedly this is when you get a big fat burn from breast feeding. Jonah is now four and a half months and I've been stuck at the same weight since my birthday in August with 13 pounds to lose.  I've also heard from several moms who didn't lose the last 5-15 lbs until they weaned. ~sigh~ The more I breastfeed Jonah the more addicted to it I become. It really does suck dragging my "mysterious black bag" everywhere I go, but having such a healthy little boy is all the encouragement I need, so I don't plan to wean any time soon. I count calories, but if I go too low my milk production plummets. I'm trying really REALLY hard to not let it get to me, but to say I wasn't nervous about being in social situations due to it would be a lie. I've learned the best thing to hear as a new mom is "you look great". Those three words can make my whole day. For some reason I've always been super insecure about my body/weight, so this is really messing with my psyche. Thankfully I have a beautiful baby who takes center stage ;)

Four months

Truth be told I'm writing this post later than dated. I was actually in Chicago for Jonah's 4 month birthday. Of course Felicia texted me adorable photos and I got to FaceTime with him after Dustin got home. Thank God for technology! At Jonah's 4 month check up he weighed just shy of 14 lbs which is actually the 10-25% even though his little cheeks make him look chubby. He's still wearing size 2 diapers and 3-6 month clothes fit perfect, although we can still get away with wearing 0-3 month pants.

As the pediatrician recommended we started cereal! And no that doesn't help him sleep through the night. He's still up some time between midnight and 2 am and again at 6. He does enjoy it, however, and picked up on opening his mouth for the spoon right away.  




He also recently found his feet :) It's so cute when he grabs them while I'm changing his diaper; it's like he's trying to help. All in all he's just absolutely adorable and we can't get enough of him. xx

My latest online project...

We have Facebook, we have YouTube... then there's blogging, and instagram, and I tried to make Picasa work for photo sharing but it just didn't. I've always loved Shutterfly, for no other reason than their website is pretty easy to navigate. I've had great luck with their prints and pretty good luck with their cards as well (unless I forget to chose glossy print) and they're so fun to make. So my next venture is this website from Shutterfly where you can view, download and purchase photos! I'm trying to help everyone feel as if they're super close. I think I'm doing an okay job :)

Anyway you should check it out... we had Jonah's 3 month photos taken and they are absolutely breathtaking. Just when I think no photo shoot can be any better she amazes me.  I love my Jenni O.

I don't really like blogging.

Is it supposed to take so long to write each entry?  I find I can spend over 30 minutes typing and editing and adding pictures.  Facebook is so much more appealing to me, but I always think about my blog like it's a friend of mine.  Random thoughts pop into my head and I want to record them. Things I don't really want my Facebook "friends" to see. My thoughts on religion. The crazy dreams about guns and snakes and really the end of the world I've been having that I attribute to my new found interest in politics. All the myths you hear about becoming a parent that I would like to debunk. How I'm supposed to be starting the Nurse Practitioner program at Georgetown November 1st and am choosing not to. Random thoughts that I don't take the time to write out.

So here's my happy thought of the day: I feel like I was made to be a Mom. My life really does have a purpose now that didn't exist before. I feel laser focused on every aspect of my life, and am able to accomplish SO much more now than I ever was before Jonah. Have you ever heard of the book "The Strengths Finder"? An old boss of mine (who I really couldn't stand but took this away from his existence) had all of his interviewees find their strengths. It's really a neat concept. You buy the book, take an online quiz and find out what your five top strengths are. Then rather than trying to improve your weaknesses you focus your time and energy using your strengths to accomplish your job or whatever it may be. I would love for my husband to do this quiz. I did get my best friend in Iowa to take it and was surprised at her results... it's like peeking into someones brain :) My strengths are: WOO (winning others over), Focus, Achiever, Communication and something to do with gathering information... Learner I think.

Anyway my point of all that is that I really feel out of balance if my Focus is off. Or sometimes I get focused on the wrong thing... which can be catastrophic to a relationship. My Focus is so on point right now. I'm focused on breastfeeding (I may just make it to his first birthday with my attitude), I'm focused on my job, on my home, on my workout routine... the list goes on. This is where I could go off on a tangent about how breast feeding does NOT make the baby weight fall off but I'll save that for another time.

Let's talk about Mr. Amazing! He has recently started to be interested in what everyone is eating. The babysitter said her mom was eating something today and he looked at her and gave her the sad lip b/c she wouldn't share! Dustin and I don't usually sit at the table for meals together, but we're going to need to start so little man can start to learn about those social skills. Some people start cereal as soon as now. Some say 4 months, some say 6. It's actually really confusing to figure out the "right" thing to do. All this thinking has had a positive affect on my relationship with food. I want to be the best role model possible! I've even thought about crazy things like the Paleo diet. After consulting my favorite nutritionist I agree that it's really not a sustainable way of life but it has made me think about my food choices a little differently. The controversy around feeding a baby cereal is a little confusing... is there a nutritional reason to do so? I'll let you know what I find out.

Well it's 9:25 already and I need to get bottles ready for tomorrow ("pack Jonah's lunch" as I like to say) and shower, etc, so I'm signing off without posting pics. Check out YouTube though; I posted a cute video of him in his new Jumparoo today :) xx